Wednesday, September 29, 2010
30th september! your anniversary with him, huh. a significant day for you, still. i dunno what i should do, really. to just leave you alone and give you time? because thats what you said you needed, until you got over him. or should i do smth about it so you can take ur mind off him? i dunno. what do i do? i cant meet you on ur special day with him. feels as if youre still with him, haha. i live a pretty sad life, agreeing to be second all the time. oh well, better than nothing. picking up scraps of love is better than finding none. kinda feel like helping you remind you on every 30th of every month, but thats just me being an ass, haha. arghh. gotta tough it out! cmon, go me!
ooooh yes. almost forgot. も一人、ね。totally felt like moving myself to 'friends' that night. hahah. cuz thats how i'm supposed to be, right. and then i thought to myself, maybe i should do the same. have a group called 'the other one(s)' as well, and just put random girl(s) in there and see how you feel. haha. but i cant do that. that would hurt you. i'm not supposed to hurt you. just me getting hurt is better that both of us. after all, i've acknowledged the fact youre not over him. gotta act more maturely and not let it affect me so badly. shouldnt be raging and emoing over this. mhm. although sometimes i should be 'the other one', heh.
on a side note, i think i'll prolly get my ear pierced when i wake up later. theres no other better time than this date. haha. must remind myself - i'm not your boyfriend! just only so in name.
etched at 11:41 PM